[UP 028] - When you give up on your goals, it's one of these 3 reasons

Hello again.

Yes, Monday. Just like I told you :)

Welcome back to your weekly dose of UP. Edition #028

Here's what we’re digging into this week:

🧠 Bartlett's Discipline Equation: Drawing from Steven Bartlett's insights, we'll dissect the Discipline Equation, revealing how the value of our goals, the rewards of our pursuits, and the costs involved play pivotal roles in our drive and determination.

🥦 The Protein Paradox: Not all proteins are created equal. We'll dive into the nuances of protein sources, highlighting the importance of understanding their quality and how they impact our health.

❤️ Two Wholes, One Heart: Relationships are a dance of give and take. We'll explore the concept of interdependence, emphasizing its significance in building strong, lasting connections and how it contrasts with mere dependence.

Shall we?

Bartlett’s Discipline Equation

This week on my listens I heard a gem from podcaster Steven Bartlett.

He shared something he calls "The Discipline Equation”.

And it’s pretty well thought out for explaining why we do some things effortlessly while others, well, maybe not so much.

Let me show you.

Bartlett breaks down discipline into a simple equation:

• It's a mix of the value of your goal (Your why, your reason)

• The reward of pursuing it (your perceived enjoyment in doing it)

• And the cost of that pursuit (your perceived level of friction to do it vs doing other things).

Let’s look at some examples of it in action:

Imagine you've decided to wake up at 5 AM daily to work on your side hustle.

The value of your goal is clear: financial freedom.

The reward?

That unmatched satisfaction of progress.

Seeing your project grow while most of the world sleeps. Hard to beat.

But then there's the cost:

Those groggy mornings.

Forgoing the allure of the warm bed.

Oh and swerving the siren call of Netflix the night before.

Now, if any part of this equation is out of whack, your discipline wavers.

Let's say the side hustle starts feeling like a chore, with no joy in the process.

The reward diminishes, and suddenly, the cost feels too high.

Or perhaps you're unclear about why you even started this project.

The value drops, and again, discipline takes a hit.

So here’s the thing. While discipline is crucial, if every day feels like a slog, you're doing it wrong.

The trick is to simply tweak the equation.

A) Can you remind yourself of the bigger picture, amplifying the value of your goal?

B) Can you make the process more enjoyable? 

C) Can you make the process less difficult?

Let's take another example: fitness. We've all been there. “This is the year I get in the shape of my life...” and then... well, life happens.

If the value of being fit is just about looking good for summer, it might not hold up against the cost of sore muscles and time.

But what if the value is about health, longevity, and feeling energetic?

Suddenly, the scales tip.

Add to that a workout routine you genuinely enjoy, and the reward goes up, making the discipline to continue even stronger.

In essence, according to Steven, discipline isn't just about gritting your teeth and pushing through.

It's about adjusting the variables in your equation to make the journey as rewarding as the destination.

So, the next time you find yourself struggling to stick to a habit or goal, revisit Bartlett's Discipline Equation.

Tweak the variables. And remember, it's okay to seek joy in the journey. In fact, it's essential.

The Protein Paradox

Right now the message I’m learning again and again when it comes to my food is “up your protein.”

It’s the one building block macronutrient that we’re all not getting enough of in today’s diet.

“Ok I got it” I say, so off I go to get that famous recommended daily intake:

1 gram of protein per lb of body weight.

And so when it comes to hitting our intake for protein, it's tempting to think in simple terms: 30g of protein from one source is the same as 30g from another, right?

Actually no, not quite.

Let's dive into the nitty-gritty of protein quality and why it matters.

I recently learned that there’s a way to measure the intricacies of our protein quality.

It’s done using a handy score called the DIAAS (Digestible Indispensable Amino Acid Score). It’ll act as our trusty guide in this journey.

It doesn't just measure protein quantity but evaluates the quality based on its amino acid profile and digestibility.

And here's where things get interesting.

Plant proteins, while packed with benefits, often don't digest as efficiently as their animal counterparts.

This means that even if you're diligently hitting your protein targets with plant-based sources, you might be falling short of your body's actual amino acid needs.

Remember, it's not just about the total protein but the nine essential amino acids that our bodies can't produce on their own.

The nine?

1. Histidine: Vital for growth and tissue repair; helps maintain the protective barrier around nerve cells.

2. Isoleucine: Supports muscle metabolism, energy production, and physical endurance.

3. Leucine: Stimulates muscle protein synthesis; crucial for muscle repair and growth.

4. Lysine: Important for immune system function; aids in calcium absorption and collagen formation.

5. Methionine: Assists in the process of detoxification; initiates protein synthesis in muscle cells.

6. Phenylalanine: Precursor to neurotransmitters; plays a key role in mood and mental function.

7. Threonine: Supports immune function and fat metabolism; vital component of collagen and elastin.

8. Tryptophan: Precursor to serotonin (a neurotransmitter); aids in regulating mood, sleep, and appetite.

9. Valine: Supports cognitive function and smooth nervous system operation; aids in muscle growth and repair.

Now, you might be thinking, "I'll just mix different plant proteins to get a complete amino acid profile."

While that sounds logical, it’s not that simple.

According to the DIAAS, a mixed vegetarian meal might require you to consume more calories to get the same amount of leucine (a key player in muscle-building) as you would from an animal protein source.

So, what's the takeaway?

If you're a vegetarian keen on maintaining muscle mass as you age (essential for longevity), it might be time to up your intake of milk, cheese, and eggs.

And for the vegans out there, I salute your dedication. I've walked in those shoes. But from a protein perspective, it might be a challenging path in the long run.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

But let’s finish on a lighter note with some ways in which we can have healthier realtionships.

Two Wholes, One Heart

This week I can’t lie I’ve been drawn into celebrity drama.

I’ve been watching (one too many) clips and interviews around Jada Pinkett-Smith’s confessions that she her and husband Will are separated yet still together.

I’m not sure why this one relationship has captured the world’s attention.

Perhaps because it’s like an unraveling happening right before our eyes.

A relationship that we thought was an admirable high-profile one is perhaps just as strained and with its difficulties as any other. Perhaps worse in some cases?

Anyway, one of the themes in their relationship that has come to light lately is the idea of coming to the relationship whole by finding your happiness outside.

Nice idea, but if executed poorly it can lead to more problems with more people ending up being involved in the relationship due to loose boundaries.

Fun on paper but complex in practice.

But let’s look at how this may look if it was executed well.

This whole idea of coming to a relationship whole is essentially the idea of being interdependent in our relationships.

In the world of relationships, interdependence is the gold standard.

It's the sweet spot between total independence and over-dependence, where two individuals come together, each bringing their unique strengths, yet maintaining their individuality.

Let’s look at some of the pillars of interdependence along with some an actionable that can help us make them happen.

Pillars of Interdependence:

1. Mutual Influence: Decisions are made collaboratively. Both parties respect and value each other's opinions.

   Actionable: Schedule regular "check-in" chats to discuss big decisions and ensure both voices are heard. Think date nights with intention.
   

2. Shared Benefits: Both enjoy the rewards of their collective efforts, be it emotional support or shared goals.

   Actionable: Create shared goals, like saving for a vacation or attending a class together. Expand your collective experience.
   

3. Maintaining Individuality: While there's unity, individual passions and pursuits are celebrated.

   Actionable: Dedicate time for personal hobbies and encourage your partner to do the same. Celebrate each other’s enjoyment & explorations.
   

4. Effective Communication: Open and honest dialogue ensures alignment and understanding.

   Actionable: Practice active listening. Try repeating back what you think you heard your partner say and wait for them to agree. That’s real listening.
   

5. Trust and Security: A foundation where both feel safe and supported. Actionable: Establish boundaries and consistently reinforce them, building trust over time. Effectively make and keep our promises.

Interdependence is about two complete individuals forming a harmonious bond.

It's not about filling gaps in another but amplifying their strengths.

By understanding and practicing its pillars, our relationships can thrive, offering both fulfillment and growth.

And that’s what makes them worthwhile.

***

Alrighty that’s a wrap.

Thanks for reading as always, hugely appreciate it.

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I’m gonna go double check my protein content for the day.

See you next week.

Always Forward,
Utkarsh